|By Skytap Blog||
|July 29, 2014 09:51 AM EDT||
Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel’s Sex Tape, released in theatres last Friday, unfortunately keeps this tradition firmly intact.
Techies have been quick to call foul on the film’s doubtful premise of a sex tape being “accidentally” uploaded to the cloud and then inadvertently shared with more than a dozen friends and family members, but I, for one, didn’t find the premise that difficult to imagine in real life. My primary gripe is with the film’s stars assumption that “nobody understands the cloud…it’s a mystery,” the pitiful attempts get their now-public video private again, and the failed opportunity to educate audiences on what’s ultimately a very easy concept to grasp.
I’ll attempt to not give any real spoilers away—outside of the fact this movie really is as abysmal as everyone says.
As a card carrying member of the tech world, while I may be well-versed in the concept of cloud computing, I certainly don’t expect everyone to be, and Jay’s (Segel) panicked explanation to Annie (Diaz) that “nobody understands the cloud” shouldn’t result in eyerolls from anyone. That being said, a quick Google search of the term “cloud computing” gives short, highly accurate, and completely graspable definition:
“The practice of using a network of remote servers hosted on the Internet to store, manage, and process data, rather than a local server or a personal computer.”
In other words, Jay and Annie, your sex tape is simply being stored not on Jay’s computer, but on a server somewhere else—just like your Facebook photo albums, your Pandora or Spotify playlists, Google Docs, and countless other files you’ve saved over time.
I may have audibly groaned and thrown my head back in bewilderment when Annie asked, “You can’t get it down from the cloud?” and Jay’s response wasn’t, oh, I don’t know, “Great idea, I should check Google” or, “Probably, let me look into the file sharing app I’ve been using for years to see how you do that” or, “Of course I should be able to, because, like everyone on the planet, I’ve deleted a file before.”
Jay and Annie deal with a vindictive, blackmailing teenager in the film who asks the same question many are asking, “why didn’t you just remote wipe it?” For those of you at home who find yourself in a similar predicament, there are step-by-step instructions online on how to do this for Android, Dropbox, PCs, iOS, and any other app or device you can imagine.
Many critics of the film have correctly pointed out that uploading a file to the cloud has nothing to do with sharing the file with others to consume on their own devices. In today’s world, the upload and subsequent sharing of a three-hour long video would’ve required additional other actions than simply clicking “upload,” and would’ve then likely taken an eternity to complete—giving Jay plenty of time to stop the process.
With file syncing/sharing apps growing in their functionality and popularity at a tremendous pace today, the possibility of Sex Tape’s dilemma may actually be easier to believe a little further down the road. Of course, as our favorite apps evolve, our understanding of how to use them should follow a similar climb, making Jay and Annie’s complete failure to search, and easily find, a solution on the Internet impossible to understand.
I’m well aware that cloud computing isn’t exactly the sexiest topic to cover on film, and that Sex Tape would’ve been about fifteen minutes long had the stars not been so moronic and blind as to how to rectify their situation, but I’m still left a little irked by the resulting impression the film will likely make on its viewers.
Many of us have uploaded or shared information we wish we wouldn’t have, and even a single piece of good advice on how to get out of a jam would’ve been more than welcome. Jay and Annie still don’t understand the cloud at the film’s conclusion, and in promotional interviews for the film, Segel and Diaz claim to still know “very little” about it, and are even “terrified” of the concept. This is impossible.
The cloud may be unsexy, but giving the impression that we're completely incapable of understanding it is more offensive than what’s found in any sex tape—even one as bland and poorly staged as this one.
Assuming seeing this movie didn't scare you away from the cloud, check out why moving your development and test environments to the cloud is one of the most valuable and agile moves you can make!
SYS-CON Events announced today that IBM Cloud Data Services has been named “Bronze Sponsor” of SYS-CON's 17th Cloud Expo, which will take place on November 3–5, 2015, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. IBM Cloud Data Services offers a portfolio of integrated, best-of-breed cloud data services for developers focused on mobile computing and analytics use cases.
Oct. 6, 2015 10:00 PM EDT Reads: 630
In his session at @ThingsExpo, Tony Shan, Chief Architect at CTS, will explore the synergy of Big Data and IoT. First he will take a closer look at the Internet of Things and Big Data individually, in terms of what, which, why, where, when, who, how and how much. Then he will explore the relationship between IoT and Big Data. Specifically, he will drill down to how the 4Vs aspects intersect with IoT: Volume, Variety, Velocity and Value. In turn, Tony will analyze how the key components of IoT influence Big Data: Device, Connectivity, Context, and Intelligence. He will dive deep to the matrix...
Oct. 6, 2015 08:00 PM EDT Reads: 311
When it comes to IoT in the enterprise, namely the commercial building and hospitality markets, a benefit not getting the attention it deserves is energy efficiency, and IoT’s direct impact on a cleaner, greener environment when installed in smart buildings. Until now clean technology was offered piecemeal and led with point solutions that require significant systems integration to orchestrate and deploy. There didn't exist a 'top down' approach that can manage and monitor the way a Smart Building actually breathes - immediately flagging overheating in a closet or over cooling in unoccupied ho...
Oct. 6, 2015 05:00 PM EDT Reads: 251
Scott Guthrie's keynote presentation "Journey to the intelligent cloud" is a must view video. This is from AzureCon 2015, September 29, 2015 I have reproduced some screen shots in case you are unable to view this long video for one reason or another. One of the highlights is 3 datacenters coming on line in India.
Oct. 6, 2015 02:00 PM EDT Reads: 228
“The Internet of Things transforms the way organizations leverage machine data and gain insights from it,” noted Splunk’s CTO Snehal Antani, as Splunk announced accelerated momentum in Industrial Data and the IoT. The trend is driven by Splunk’s continued investment in its products and partner ecosystem as well as the creativity of customers and the flexibility to deploy Splunk IoT solutions as software, cloud services or in a hybrid environment. Customers are using Splunk® solutions to collect and correlate data from control systems, sensors, mobile devices and IT systems for a variety of Ind...
Oct. 6, 2015 01:00 PM EDT Reads: 580
SYS-CON Events announced today that ProfitBricks, the provider of painless cloud infrastructure, will exhibit at SYS-CON's 17th International Cloud Expo®, which will take place on November 3–5, 2015, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. ProfitBricks is the IaaS provider that offers a painless cloud experience for all IT users, with no learning curve. ProfitBricks boasts flexible cloud servers and networking, an integrated Data Center Designer tool for visual control over the cloud and the best price/performance value available. ProfitBricks was named one of the coolest Clo...
Oct. 6, 2015 01:00 PM EDT Reads: 739
You have your devices and your data, but what about the rest of your Internet of Things story? Two popular classes of technologies that nicely handle the Big Data analytics for Internet of Things are Apache Hadoop and NoSQL. Hadoop is designed for parallelizing analytical work across many servers and is ideal for the massive data volumes you create with IoT devices. NoSQL databases such as Apache HBase are ideal for storing and retrieving IoT data as “time series data.”
Oct. 6, 2015 12:45 PM EDT Reads: 458
Clearly the way forward is to move to cloud be it bare metal, VMs or containers. One aspect of the current public clouds that is slowing this cloud migration is cloud lock-in. Every cloud vendor is trying to make it very difficult to move out once a customer has chosen their cloud. In his session at 17th Cloud Expo, Naveen Nimmu, CEO of Clouber, Inc., will advocate that making the inter-cloud migration as simple as changing airlines would help the entire industry to quickly adopt the cloud without worrying about any lock-in fears. In fact by having standard APIs for IaaS would help PaaS expl...
Oct. 6, 2015 12:30 PM EDT Reads: 585
Organizations already struggle with the simple collection of data resulting from the proliferation of IoT, lacking the right infrastructure to manage it. They can't only rely on the cloud to collect and utilize this data because many applications still require dedicated infrastructure for security, redundancy, performance, etc. In his session at 17th Cloud Expo, Emil Sayegh, CEO of Codero Hosting, will discuss how in order to resolve the inherent issues, companies need to combine dedicated and cloud solutions through hybrid hosting – a sustainable solution for the data required to manage I...
Oct. 6, 2015 12:00 PM EDT Reads: 440
Apps and devices shouldn't stop working when there's limited or no network connectivity. Learn how to bring data stored in a cloud database to the edge of the network (and back again) whenever an Internet connection is available. In his session at 17th Cloud Expo, Bradley Holt, Developer Advocate at IBM Cloud Data Services, will demonstrate techniques for replicating cloud databases with devices in order to build offline-first mobile or Internet of Things (IoT) apps that can provide a better, faster user experience, both offline and online. The focus of this talk will be on IBM Cloudant, Apa...
Oct. 6, 2015 10:45 AM EDT Reads: 452
Mobile messaging has been a popular communication channel for more than 20 years. Finnish engineer Matti Makkonen invented the idea for SMS (Short Message Service) in 1984, making his vision a reality on December 3, 1992 by sending the first message ("Happy Christmas") from a PC to a cell phone. Since then, the technology has evolved immensely, from both a technology standpoint, and in our everyday uses for it. Originally used for person-to-person (P2P) communication, i.e., Sally sends a text message to Betty – mobile messaging now offers tremendous value to businesses for customer and empl...
Oct. 6, 2015 10:45 AM EDT Reads: 163
As more and more data is generated from a variety of connected devices, the need to get insights from this data and predict future behavior and trends is increasingly essential for businesses. Real-time stream processing is needed in a variety of different industries such as Manufacturing, Oil and Gas, Automobile, Finance, Online Retail, Smart Grids, and Healthcare. Azure Stream Analytics is a fully managed distributed stream computation service that provides low latency, scalable processing of streaming data in the cloud with an enterprise grade SLA. It features built-in integration with Azur...
Oct. 6, 2015 10:00 AM EDT Reads: 734
SYS-CON Events announced today that HPM Networks will exhibit at the 17th International Cloud Expo®, which will take place on November 3–5, 2015, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. For 20 years, HPM Networks has been integrating technology solutions that solve complex business challenges. HPM Networks has designed solutions for both SMB and enterprise customers throughout the San Francisco Bay Area.
Oct. 6, 2015 09:00 AM EDT Reads: 569
The enterprise is being consumerized, and the consumer is being enterprised. Moore's Law does not matter anymore, the future belongs to business virtualization powered by invisible service architecture, powered by hyperscale and hyperconvergence, and facilitated by vertical streaming and horizontal scaling and consolidation. Both buyers and sellers want instant results, and from paperwork to paperless to mindless is the ultimate goal for any seamless transaction. The sweetest sweet spot in innovation is automation. The most painful pain point for any business is the mismatch between supplies a...
Oct. 6, 2015 09:00 AM EDT Reads: 140
The broad selection of hardware, the rapid evolution of operating systems and the time-to-market for mobile apps has been so rapid that new challenges for developers and engineers arise every day. Security, testing, hosting, and other metrics have to be considered through the process. In his session at Big Data Expo, Walter Maguire, Chief Field Technologist, HP Big Data Group, at Hewlett-Packard, will discuss the challenges faced by developers and a composite Big Data applications builder, focusing on how to help solve the problems that developers are continuously battling.
Oct. 6, 2015 04:00 AM EDT Reads: 409
As enterprises capture more and more data of all types – structured, semi-structured, and unstructured – data discovery requirements for business intelligence (BI), Big Data, and predictive analytics initiatives grow more complex. A company’s ability to become data-driven and compete on analytics depends on the speed with which it can provision their analytics applications with all relevant information. The task of finding data has traditionally resided with IT, but now organizations increasingly turn towards data source discovery tools to find the right data, in context, for business users, d...
Oct. 5, 2015 08:00 AM EDT Reads: 378
SYS-CON Events announced today that MobiDev, a software development company, will exhibit at the 17th International Cloud Expo®, which will take place November 3-5, 2015, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. MobiDev is a software development company with representative offices in Atlanta (US), Sheffield (UK) and Würzburg (Germany); and development centers in Ukraine. Since 2009 it has grown from a small group of passionate engineers and business managers to a full-scale mobile software company with over 150 developers, designers, quality assurance engineers, project manage...
Oct. 5, 2015 05:00 AM EDT Reads: 738
Learn how IoT, cloud, social networks and last but not least, humans, can be integrated into a seamless integration of cooperative organisms both cybernetic and biological. This has been enabled by recent advances in IoT device capabilities, messaging frameworks, presence and collaboration services, where devices can share information and make independent and human assisted decisions based upon social status from other entities. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Michael Heydt, founder of Seamless Thingies, will discuss and demonstrate how devices and humans can be integrated from a simple clust...
Oct. 4, 2015 12:00 PM EDT Reads: 628
SYS-CON Events announced today that Cloud Raxak has been named “Media & Session Sponsor” of SYS-CON's 17th Cloud Expo, which will take place on November 3–5, 2015, at the Santa Clara Convention Center in Santa Clara, CA. Raxak Protect automates security compliance across private and public clouds. Using the SaaS tool or managed service, developers can deploy cloud apps quickly, cost-effectively, and without error.
Oct. 3, 2015 01:15 PM EDT Reads: 625
Who are you? How do you introduce yourself? Do you use a name, or do you greet a friend by the last four digits of his social security number? Assuming you don’t, why are we content to associate our identity with 10 random digits assigned by our phone company? Identity is an issue that affects everyone, but as individuals we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about it. In his session at @ThingsExpo, Ben Klang, Founder & President of Mojo Lingo, will discuss the impact of technology on identity. Should we federate, or not? How should identity be secured? Who owns the identity? How is identity ...
Oct. 3, 2015 11:00 AM EDT Reads: 418